Iulia Benze on her final day presenting a course on Identity Deconstruction at a festival in Hungary.
We started the Sunday with a session of Yoga outside, in nature, held by E. and S.
Two new people joined us, Anjan and Andy. Anjan was really worried for her, he asked me if I could help her as she was constantly crying and being depressed. Our entire session (the last one for that series in Cserhatszentivan) changed, trying to include her into the warm-up and Barba sticks. Her will to get into the workshop was very weak, other members tried to include her as well. I instructed her into the Barba Sticks movements, even though she was lacking concentration and it felt she wasn’t there. At a certain moment, in our struggle to connect with her, she hit the lamp smashing it into loads of glass pieces and that seems to have represented for her the relief point and liberation time that she needed. After that, she decided to leave. Anjan remained with us.
We ended our last session with Grotowski movements turning it into an improv free dance contact where we all kept contact with each other until we found an ending on the floor, all silent, still and breathing together. We also had a few minutes of meditation and after that the final discussions.
As a human and artist, I am extremely grateful for this opportunity created to go in Hungary, Cserhatszentivan and facilitate workshops in my own practice. I met wonderful people, professionals in their own domains, and we all laughed and cried together and I was able to share from my knowledge. I am mostly a performer, I never facilitated a workshop by myself before; this time I was oscillating between being a performer and a facilitator and many times I was asking myself if it is going to work, because of the intense nature of the practice. Towards my amazement, it did work, I did manage to keep those entities separated and to make them harmoniously function together, bringing a lot of discipline to me, as an artist and individual. In this new position, I also learnt how to take care of people around me, how to listen and understand their needs.
It was a wonderful experience for everyone and now we are working together towards booking future workshops in Budapest, in November this year.